Words of MavericK

Blabbering of a Fool

Ways to Identify (Most) Singaporeans

I’ve been taking notice of my fellow Singaporeans (that’s basically the only thing you can do when you have nothing to do on the MRT train), and noticed several characteristics that make us…well, Singaporeans! The following are color-coded according to…ah, you will definitely understand the color-coding eventually.

In the MRT (Mass Rapid Transit) stations/trains

  • In contradiction to general belief and fact that people, especially women/girls, do not like to admit they are old, most Singaporeans love to let themselves be known as OLD and ELDERLY. Many of them, with their youthful appearances, take the seats of the train while those truly old and those truly in need of the seats stand, with both hands holding on to the handrails and poles with the best of their efforts. Strange, and I thought I always see a sign above the seats, stating to give the seats to those who need it more. AH! I get it, perhaps the women/girls are pregnant? Another point…
  • Most Singaporeans seems to have the innate ability of falling asleep in their seats immediately at the sight of the elderly and pregnant ladies entering the train, and then waking up instantly when they have found seats, or when someone else had given up his/her seats to them. An evolution of mankind, perhaps?
  • Another special ability of most Singaporeans is that they have the power of rendering invisibility. Not to themselves, but to objects, like a flyer or newspaper page, lying on the floor. The power isn’t just so. It seems these people are able to sense the presence of these objects, avoiding them in their direction of motion, even though they are ‘unable’ to see them. Sadly, a select few do not possess this ability, they have to carry these objects with us when we alight and all the way out of the station before disposing them properly (there are no trashcans in the stations).
  • While waiting for the train to arrive, many Singaporeans cannot see the color ‘yellow’. They seem to be oblivious to people standing in front of them too. (There was one time I saw a foreigner, so pissed at a fellow Singaporean for trying to squeeze into the train that he literally shoved him aside, shouted vulgarities at him and threw whatever was in his hand…a piece of paper he had squeezed into a ball in his fury…at the person’s head. Apparently, the culprit knows he’s guilty, for he did not even retaliate one bit…not even a comment. Talk about thick-skinned huh?)
  • Many Singaporeans think their fellow citizens are ‘cheapo’s. They are the ones who read the papers with their arms so wide, they are like about to fly, yet when people, being curious, turn to look at the headlines, they frown in their direction (Yet they continue to prepare to fly).

In coffeeshops/eating houses (we generally call them ‘Kopitiam’, meaning coffee shop)

  • Sadly speaking, when in these premises, the worth of many Singaporeans as humans drop to that of being a packet of tissue papers. These people use packets of tissue papers to represent themselves, using them to ‘reserve’ seats in these premises. Actually, the packets, I think, are really them themselves, ’cause apparently they are able to go back to these seats they had reserved, even though there are that ‘many’ designs of tissue paper packets.
  • Most Singaporeans are very orderly. They are able to queue patiently for their turn to order (of course, like anywhere else, there are bound to be some who mumble and complain, but they still queue)

Well, I believe there should be many other characteristics of Singaporean, but like I mentioned before, I only notice these things when I’m bored on the MRT. As for the ‘Kopitiam’ description, I noticed them while going out to eat at these premises (duh!). Anyway, that’s it for now…will write some more when I manage to see more, and remember them…

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