Blabbering of a Fool
On the road of self-discovery…
I’m on the road to knowing myself better.
Went to Toa Payoh Library on Monday with Tommy (still looking good there, officer-to-be!), the last visit to a library being months ago, and borrowed (unbelievably) self-help(or understanding, actually, I would say) books…3 in fact.
Started on this book: Shyness – A Bold New Approach. Most of you may not notice, I AM a shy guy, and now, after reading about 1/10th of the book, I realized that I’m in fact shy in front of friends, or people I know well, too!!! Points about myself and my shyness from reading the book so far: I believe (and am still believing in them)…
- Shyness is stronger than I am
- Shyness is in your head
- All shy people are alike
- My shyness comes from low self-esteem
- Shyness is (going to be) a life-sentence
- Only extroverts are happy
A simple conclusion I gathered is that I am unhappily shy, and that I am publicly/chronically and privately shy. Being publicly shy means I would rather choose to stay out or steer away from situations which would make me feel shy and as a result, uneasy. Furthermore, I am too overly focused with myself and my needs with meeting new people, and with attention-seeking extroverts. Me being chronically shy means that being shy and suffering from it is the only way of life I know how to live (or at least, how I believed to be so), and I can’t change.
Privately shy, this is something I didn’t expect. It means when being with friends, I can be rather rowdy/wild, willing to be part of the group, but when I feel troubled by shy thoughts, silent I go, even in the presence of friends, or people I know. This is so true, I realized, but I think this is not generally accepted by the petty society: many people, including friends, would think I’m giving them an attitude or something, and in turn get mad or pissed off at me.
Well, get this: THIS IS SOMETHING I’M STILL LEARNING HOW TO CONTROL!!! PLEASE SPARE ME SOME GRACE!!!
Like what I roughly brought out above, I have many people around me who dis at the idea of me being shy, instead of helping me out from it. Some say it’s in my head, and well, I would definitely like to recommend this book to them.
Shyness is something much deeper, morons.
Well, shall continue on my path of knowing myself before I write anymore.